This kid is just annoying. Though he’s got his own prominent role, now he’s shadowing me on stage, hovering around and peering over my shoulder at the card in my hand as I’m trying to read it. Though I’ve been doing this part for a while, tonight I simply can’t manage. I stumble through the sentences and flub it terribly. It isn’t necessarily because of this kid who’s bugging me (though the kid is definitely bugging me), but for some more personal reason. Finally, in utter frustration, I give up, saying, “Asshole. You want to read this? Then fucking read this. Because apparently I can’t.” Someone in the audience laughs, but I don’t know if it’s because he thinks that’s part of the play, and it’s funny, or because he sees what’s really happening to me, and that’s funny. But I’ve just had it – I am done. I throw the card at this obnoxious kid and stalk off through the auditorium. The kid can have the part if he wants it. I’m fucking sick of all of it.
[for cello, electric guitar]
(virtua)